Optimistic vs Pessimistic

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4/5/2009

I feel so dejected again, I don’t know what’s wrong w me. I just can’t bring myself to study at this state.

5/5/2009

I slept at 11.30 last night. Woke up at 2.30. I’m suffering from insomnia again.

It’s very draining on me. I can’t remember the last time I had a good quality sleep. I just need one, long, peaceful sleep to bring me back to health, to normal, not emo. Just one, it’s an awfully modest demand. I even quit drinking coffee because the caffeine contributes 0.00001% to the chance of losing sleep. Izit too much too ask for?

I guess I’m having the lows of my life again. But it’s rather perplexing because I basically become depressed over nothing. Like no apparent reason at all. If that is my karma, he’s doing a fantastic job. All these, depression, anxiety, nervous breakdown just blown in like magic. Out of the blue, I’ve become so let down. Just like that, literally just like that snaps*

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Seemingly, there is a therapy to this, according to my counselor. I should start seeing things in a glass half full manner to be more happy.

Example:

1) Glass half empty: my sister is a retard.

2) Glass half full: hey she’s still growing and just not as well mentally developed as you…

But when you take a closer look, you’ll realize, the first statement is still the reality; succinct, precise and 100% pure authentic truth that she is a R.E.T.A.R.D

And the optimistic way is just a way of thinking to make us feel better, a refuge one seek when one fails to accept the reality. It’s a sign of weakness.

I said this to my counselor and she sighed out a silent grief. (haiiiiiiiih cant he just shut up!?!?!?) Then again, it’s a fact that she still has to deal with, that I’m an incorrigible prick. No matter how she wants to interpret it, glass half full/empty, sadly it won’t make me any less a pain in the ass to counsel. The problem would still be there.

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6am in the morning that day, I drove to ss2 to have dim sum and drink some Chinese tea. China man advocating china man lifestyle baby! All by myself thou. Jason Foo!! Get your ass back in Malaysia asap!! No one else is as stupid/cool as us to do that early in the morning already. Miss you man

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For those who are having exams too, good luck!! I don't need it. heheh. I just need to study. STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY
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