To the skimpy girls I bumped into in Zouk

They think you're hot

in short skirts w too lil material, tight shirts w too much to reveal

However,

I think you would look a thousand times hotter

in oversized tee, ripped jeans, and old sneakers.

Kaskade - Turn It Down

Better single than being a melancholy fuck in a relationship.

“ Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand. ”

Emily Kimbrough

No one can dispute with regard to the aforesaid. Needless to mention, shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. For this reason alone is substantive enough to propel us to set out in pursuit of that person to embark on a relationship with.

But what if one day, I told you that hey...

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‘You know the one you decided to go hand in hand with? Her tits tilt to the side, right? I know because she was mine before.’

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That’s why you should,

BE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU CHOOSE!

I have dated many, however neither of whom I want a relationship with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a commitment-phobe. Neither am I being jaded or cynical about relationships. There are just some questions that I would love to have them answered.

Last week in Asia Cafe, after a brief exchange of pleasantries, a girl who sat next to our table slipped her number to me when the boyfriend went to the toilet.

And many years ago, I ravaged a 4 years relationship overnight, one that belonged to a girl who feigned to be the most loyal girlfriend in the world. I am saying this without a single shred of pride.

I am horrified. What if I happened to be in one of these relationships and am completely oblivious about it?

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I’ll keep this short. I needa go to work soon.

If you are still single and getting desperate, I’m in the same shithole as you, except longer. No, you can’t beat me, I have been single since birth.

And I know what your friends have been telling you. They tell you that in the event of fortuitous coincidence of geography and timing, you will eventually meet the right person and you will live happily ever after.

What a pathetic fallacy to make us feel better.

So what should you do instead?

Live independently and successfully as if you do not need anyone in your life. And no matter how dire the circumstances, DO NOT compromise with what you really want and embark on a relationship w just about anyone.

And you are pretty sure of getting a taker. Coz you are fucking attractive.

See you at Tiesto!

Crush Innocence

Reasons as to why you would want to be my girlfriend

1) My sister is not hotter than you.

2) My brother is not hotter than me.

3) I buy my own cigarettes.

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4) I will watch Gossip Girls w you.

5) I will appreciate your boobs, regardless of their sizes.

6) I listen to Westlife.

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7) I hate Justin Bieber.

8) I can cook.

9) My roasted honey chicken will blow your mind.

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10) I put down the toilet lid after use.

11) My indo mie is the shizzle.

12) My fried egg's yolk never breaks.

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11) I'm not a virgin.

12) I know how to respect your clit.

13) I will listen to all your problems.

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14) I will never ask you to meet my parents.

15) I recycle.

16) I do charity on a regular basis.

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17) I will deem your bimbotic moments cute.

18) You will look good in my shirt.

19) I will watch the same movie twice just because you haven't watched it.

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20) I am learning how to tie a cherry stem w my tongue.

21) I take charge in bed.

22) My dick is long enough to choke you.

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23) I will pay for your meals.

24) I can get you and your friends into Zouk w/o incurring any costs.

25) I celebrate Valentines' Day.

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26) I will still kiss you even when you have fever.

27) I know handcuffs aren't just for cops.

28) I smoke up.

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29) I'm open for sex after weed.

30) No one will hit you again.

31) I will remember your birthday.

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32) I will remember your parents' birthday.

33) I will not ask you to do my assignment.

34) I can give kick ass massage.

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35) You are cooler than all my ex girlfriends.

36) I do dishes.

37) I will not fuck your friends.

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38) I look hot when I wear pink.

39) I will kill the spiders for you.

40) We can watch your movie first.

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41) I can reverse park at first attempt.

42) I speak 6 languages.

43) I always understate my earnings.

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44) Take as long as you want, I can wait.

45) I don't cheat.

46) I will buy you expensive bags just so you can piss them off.

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47) You are hotter and smarter than everyone I know.

48) My family is just as fucked up as yours.

49) I genuinely do not have a girlfriend.

50) I'm good at crossing roads.

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Love

Many people have the misconception that I’m from a rich family. Well let me tell you now, I’m not. I’m poorer than you. When I say this I’m really not trying to portray modesty. I mean it when I say it.

My dad had a major setback in his career and is now at the verge of bankruptcy. My mom is currently trying to make a living for the family by running a hawker stall in a Chinese food-court.

When I was in the car w my mom on the way to the food-court, I asked,

YgGuo: ‘Mi, how much are you earning from this?’

Mother: ‘About 150 to 200 ringgit a day?’

200 Ringgit. That’s 9 hours of toil and sweat from a loving mother in exchange for granting her son a meal at any decent Chinese restaurant in the UK.

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The other day I sat down at my desk thinking of writing to my family to tell them how much I love them. Instead, I thought of how each and every one of them has detached themselves from all sorts of luxuries to support my living expenses in the UK.

Not surprisingly, I winded up being overwhelmed by just how much they love me.

It’s so easy to talk about love, but how many of us have really put forth the effort to weld those words together as we speak of love? I can’t remember when the last time I did something nice for my family was. I was too young to comprehend their subtle ways of loving me. They never told me how much trouble it was to look after me.

Mother Teresa once said, ‘The success of love is not in the result of loving but to want the best for the other person.’ That’s indisputably true. Despite my previous relationships have been ultimate failures, my devotion to my exes has accorded me a different kind of happiness. It has once meant something to someone.

No wonder we are all screwed up. We let people into our deepest core and allow them to uncover our true selves for the sheer thought of being someone’s someone.

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Once I caught a glimpse of my mom from my car squatting by the roadside while washing some dirty dishes. After parking my car I quickly got down and offered to help. However, she flatly rejected my offer and said,

‘You’d stink.’

And proceeded to cook me a nice bowl of fish ball noodles w additional ingredients in it. In that split moment, my heart cracked.

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Love manifests parents who forgo their sleep to look after their kids; lovers who send cards to express their affection; friends who stand by each other during bad times. However all of them have no intrinsic value at all as love cannot be measured.

Whether it’s a love card sent from another continent or a simple morning text the value lies in the fact that we all look beyond our own needs and welfare to look out for others whom we cherish. After all, love inspires us to better ourselves in every way to provide for those we love.

I am truly amazed at what love can do. I am amazed at how much I’ve grown under their perpetual love, how much I’ve changed from a rebel against my family to a loving son.

I am eager to find love. I cant wait to show someone the love I have inside of me.

And, to make that person feel happy.

英国的天气，一点也不讨人喜欢。

有时候我在想，我又不是特别欣赏这里的洋人，就算申请到工作，是不是真的就要委屈自己在这儿活受罪。

今年目前为止，和我关系最好的还是一个香港人。有一次在他冲凉的时候，我偷掉他的毛巾来给自己买时间吃他从 sainsbury 买回来的饼干，我告诉他没有吃到3块以上物不归还。

今年跟我同居的洋人比去年多，可是真的， 今年我的洋人朋友反而没有去年的多。想想去年，我还到酒吧打工来认识多一些洋人。因为那时候我觉得，你来英国，就是要认识英国人见识他们的文化等等。

可是现在我觉得去年的我在吃大便。

今年我真的不吊那些洋鬼。Boo 讲得很对，如果你不喝酒你一定交不到洋人朋友。人跟鬼，根本就是两个不同世界的动物，不要讲喝酒，就是旅行、饮食、话题等等根本就恰恰不合嘛！(千万不要跟洋鬼旅行！！）

在英国，只要你超会喝酒，会干蠢事，你就会是首选的 ‘好’ 朋友。

我讲的蠢事不是只限于在大庭广众小解之类的事。我讲的蠢事包融了在 dance floor打飞机，在巴士上打架，把自己的脚摔断之类的事。

我爱喝酒，可是偷毛巾也很好玩啊！一定要喝酒的咩？

Happy 21st =]

If life is like a race, at the age of 21, when arrive at the pit stop, expecting refueling and tires change, the mechanics would tell you, ‘You’ve watched us long enough, now do it on your own.’

The point is simple. After 21 years of being sheltered, it’s time to start taking matters into your own hands.

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Despite months of anticipation, when the big 2-1 is finally here, it still came as a shock to me, like omg dude, I’m fucking 21.

Considering the leaps and bounds that I’ve made, I’m glad that I did not choose the less travelled route. For English is finally getting into my stride, though I still can’t speak very well. No more spindly arms and legs. Still full of crap, but no longer the target for clique discrimination.

At the very least, I’m content with the person I have turned out to be.

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For some odd reason, however, at times I still feel like I have not changed at all, exemplified by numerous distraught nights I spent on self pity indulgences like looking at old pictures, watching a sad movie, or calling an ex, leaving me pretty little time for anything productive. And most of the times really, I don’t know what I’m depressed about.

Especially after a long day of work, or after a massive event, when I get home, I have a tendency to snap.

Perhaps it’s because what I set out to be was distinctly different from whom I really am. I’m not totally cut out for this. I like the feeling of these cognitive emotions, such as sorrow and love. And while I suppress this sentiment as I clamber my way up to my goals, increasingly, I’d miss these sentimentalities, and it’s harder to fend off each time. The further I wander off my comfort zone, the more I desire to dwell in it.

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True, it’d be so much easier to just turn a blind eye to this matter. After all, it’s me being myself, reminiscing about what I’ve been through, where I came from and whom I used to be. I could just lay back and trap myself in oblivion, regarding issues that revolve around me, or drink a coffee during the economic crisis and be totally comfortable w myself.

But looking back 5 years from now, will I love myself for taking the easy route? No I won’t. I know better than anyone that I’m holding onto what I should have let go of long ago, and it needs to be rectified, as being 21 year old means no room for such meaningless course.

No room for any weakness.

11) And the best way to stop feeling sad, is to keep yourself busy.

My Top 10 Commandments

1) You can't please everyone. Do what you need to do to be happy, and don't be bothered at all by those who disagree w your actions.

2) You can't change a person, but a person can change, for you.

3) The things you do may have little significance, but it is important that you do it.

4) Never blame your groupmates for their incompetence. Because being a good team player would also mean coping well w your groupmates' mental retardation.

5) The availability of your friends, your loved ones, even your blackberry, is never perpetual. In the end of the day, you have only yourself to count on, and it would always be the best resort.

6) If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut.

7) You can't expect more from others, but you should always give more than their expectation. Never find yourself in any form of relationship debt.

8) Where you stand in anyone's life, is in accordance to how far you are willing to go for them.

9) Do a lot of self improvement. Not only you'd obtain confidence, when people attempt to fuck you over, you'd be primed to fuck them back.

10) The question isn't about who is going to let you, but who's going to stop you. - Ayn Rand. If you aren't comfortable w this attitude, it's hard to be awesome =] .