A Ridiculous Exam Experience

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A couple of days ago I had the most ridiculous exam experience ever. Not because the paper was too hard, but I had some problems w the invigilator in charged.

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Question:

While having exam, do you ask for permission to use the toilet or you just swagger out?

For me, I don’t have such courtesy to go up to the invigilator and ask, ‘Hey, do I have your permission to urinate?’

I don’t pull off such a stunt. It’s not cool when you are 20 years old and still seeking approval to shake the dew off your ding dong. Likewise, no one wants to be followed to the toilet unless the follower is of the opposite sex.

And needless to say, nobody wants anyone to wait outside the door especially while you are taking a poop. You can never enjoy the moment and let it all out.

What I usually do is, I leave my seat, and make eye contact with the invigilator to indicate that I need to use the toilet. Well said and clear enough right? No? Fuck off you are not my friend.

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So the whole drama came about like this:

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I walked out from the examination hall (more like a classroom) without asking for permission. And when I came back, this black emo invigilator, a combination of a psychotic fuck who looks like he hasn’t slept for decades, and a cancer patient who barely has a strand of hair on his head probably due to the same massive nervous breakdown problem, stood at the classroom door waiting for me.

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Round One

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Black dog: Why didn’t you ask for permission when you leave the classroom?!

Ygsik: HUH?!!

Black dog: WHY didn’t you ask before you leave?! points at my face*

Ygsik: Oh erm… because… all this while I have been doing this and no one actually said anything about it.

Black dog: You cannot just walk out like this without permission, this is against the exam rule.

Ygsik: Yea but like I said no invigilator has ever complaint about this. I do that ever since my first semester and everyone here does the same.

Black dog: Stay in the class after the paper.

Ygsik: Why?!

Black dog: STAY in the classroom after the paper. points at my face again*

Ygsik: (For Fucks). walked away*

Black dog: What?!

Ygsik: continue walking away*

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Round Two – after the paper

Ygsik: Yes?

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Black dog: I want to write a comment about this. Your name is… Lim…..(refering to my paper)...Yang… Sik.

Ygsik: I don’t understand. I was sitting just RIGHT IN FRONT of you. Why didn’t you stop me as I was going out?

Black dog: By that time I saw you were already at the door.

Ygsik: So it is my fault that you weren’t being attentive?

Black dog: Thing is you walked out without asking for my permission and it’s against the exam rule.

(RULE RULE RULE. I REALLY ABHOR THOSE LOSERS WHO LIVE THEIR LIVES BASED ON RULES)

Ygsik: Can we go talk to my program leader?

Black dog: Ok fine. Go.

Round 3- in the office

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While we arrived at the office, that Black Fuck sprinted ahead of me to my program leader, Miss Claudine in order to get an upper hand over a verbal confrontation. What a loser.

Black dog: Miss Claudine, this boy he went out of the classroomw/o permission in the middle of an examination. I don’t know where the hell he went but he went out w/o permission. and I don't like this boy he’s very arrogant bla bla bla…

At the same time he was writing a long long comment on an invigilator paper. Something like that

Ygsik: Hey I don’t like to way you describe me.

Black dog: No one cares whether you like it or not. I don’t like the way you are and that is more important.

I have to say, that was a bloody good line. I didn’t have a comeback for that and I stood there hopelessly and let him bruised my pride. At that point, I was as close as a nanometer to whack that piece of shit on the spot. My rage has completely taken over me. I have a long fuse, but when it hits bottom I explode. Fortunately, my last shred of dignity holds me back. I know that’s not the way to do it if you really want to fuck a lecturer upside down.

A wise decision is to collect every single piece of information about your enemy, etc his car’s whereabouts so you can take it outside your college w/o wooing trouble to yourself. Better still, provoke him and make him whack you in the office right before all lecturers’ eyes. That way, not only his line of career becomes all gloomy in an instant, you’ll have all eyes on you and become a superstar in your Uni. Nothing is sweeter than the taste of victory.

So I asked:

Ygsik: How should I address you?

(Silent)

Ygsik: Why? Are you embarrassed of being who you are?

Claudine: He’s Mr. Ramish.

Ygsik: Sorry I beg your pardon. Rubbish?

His face turned purple. YES!

Claudine: Mr. Ramish.

Ygsik: Oh. Ramish izit.

Claudine: It’s Mr Ramish. Yang Sik I want to talk to you personally.

Miss Claudine was an angel. Not only she apologized on behalf of that blackie, she tried to sedate my anger and rationalize everything for me. I didn’t heed well thou. I was too angry.

After the talk, I walked up to where that black fuck sits.

Ygsik: Mr Ramish.

Black dog: Yes?

Ygsik: I just want to say sorry.

I paused. Then I pulled up that sympathetic look and continue,

Ygsik: I feel sorry for you that, judging from your eye bags, you probably have sleepless nights arguing with your wife about how a distressful person you are… (Get out just get out!) and your kids probably find you very disgraceful…( Get out now you are not allowed to be here!) DUDE! don’t ask me to leave, I’ve paid my fees and I’m entitled all the rights to use every facility KDU has. Who do you think is paying your pathetic salary?

Black dog stood up and looked around for help. I continued,

Ygsik: You live a very depressing life so you abuse your power as a lecturer and pick on students and put them through all sorts of trouble to find pleasure like what you did today. You just have to let me walk out from the classroom where you clearly know that I was breaking the rules, and then get me into trouble and be happy about it. How sad…

Black dog: Get out now! I will take further actions.

Ygsik: Oh really? Please go ahead because I can’t wait to see what will ever happen to me! And please go back and have some good sleep because things are going to happen to you very soon. Be prepared. Chao!

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The moral of the story is, if you are messing with someone who has a higher social status than you, remain calm, be tactful and not disrespectful. This will minimize the chances of you getting sued or even if he intended to sue you, he will have nothing to sue you over.

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What about those who have an equal social status? JUST WHACK LA!

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心情写 － 男孩的故事

男孩是个守夜者。

夜幕垂帘，男孩总是坐在高处，悠远而不为人知的角落，静静地望着星空。

午夜时分，万籁俱寂 ( 一切都很宁静 )，偶尔夹着啾啾的夜鸣声，思路变得很平静，清晰。男孩想，是否女孩，正在世界的另一端，默默地等待着彼此的相遇；想着，在自己心中的她，是否同样地也在望着夜景；想着，是否此刻，也这般地想着他……

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时间荏苒 ( 渐渐过去 )，一天又一天平凡地过去。

男孩在一次的邂逅 ( 偶然遇见 ) 中，爱上了女孩，女孩也知道他一直都在注意她。

久了，女孩也渐渐习惯了身边有他的身影，喜欢从他身上所得到的抽象感觉。

好几次女孩假装眼睛看着别处，实余角全都是他的背影，他的一举一动，女孩的眼光不曾遗落过；他的一笑一怒，无不令她心动荡漾，与此享受每一段有他的时刻。

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女孩内心隐隐盼望能接触他，但往往因男孩无动于衷而发愁。

男孩似乎只想扮演单恋的角色。

因为他觉得，还是不要联系的好，也没有向她澄清的必要。男孩喜欢神秘地在一边，欣赏她的存在。.

茫然无奈的她，只好股起勇气走到他最爱去的角落 ，腼腆 ( 害羞 ) 地说 ：

‘请你挪出少许的空间，让我可以有机会认识你，有机会向你示爱。无论如何，我需要你的理解’。

男孩霍地里愣 ( 呆 )住了。

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男孩从此和女孩谱出了爱情。

下课，女孩总是捧着准备好了的便当，也不忘买男孩最爱吃的油炸圈，站在相隔不远的梧桐树下，等待那熟悉的倩影出现，一同用餐；放学，俩人一起走路回家。日落曦光四照，俩人手牵着手，在浦满银杏树叶的小石子路上走着。

夕阳余晖下，俩人的影子拉得长长，亲密得犹如一体，景色美得像梦境一般地瑰丽。那浪漫温存的感觉，遍布全身，醺醺如醉。

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有一次在回家途中，天空下着大雨，俩人往常共撑一把伞。男孩一心护着女孩，自己全身湿漉漉的，也不让女孩被雨水沾到。

‘哎哟！’ 女孩见状，失惊地叫道 ：‘你干什么！’

‘雨伞太小啦，你被雨淋到生病怎么办？’

‘不用等到我着凉，我的心就先被你浇凉啦！’ 女孩伸出手 ‘伞让我来拿，快点！’ 心酸地说。

‘不，不给。’男孩笑着说。

‘哦？’真的吗？真～的不给吗？’ 尾音拉得长长，眼波流动，咬着下唇，露出调皮的眼色。

女孩双手突然在男孩身上乱抓，呵他的痒，男孩一时出其不意，撑着伞的手顿时松开。女孩一把将雨伞接了过来，一脸胜利的模样。

‘你……’

男孩还未说完，女孩伸手嘟住他的嘴，两颗晶莹的眼珠凝滞 ( 不动 )地看着男孩，柔声说：

‘要淋，咱一起淋，以后的艰苦，我都想跟你共度。’ 说完，把伞关了起来，藏在背后，示意绝不返还。

男孩听了大为感动，含情脉脉地看着她，一时说不出话来。雨淅沥淅沥地下着，雨声中蕴含着无限的柔情密意。俩人良久不语。

这时，女孩手勾着男孩的手臂，将身体拉得更近，头依偎着男孩的肩膀，开腔道：

‘你爱我有多少？’

‘嗯……’ 男孩俯首思索 ( 低头想 )。

‘你瞧瞧。’男孩指着天，说道 ：’我对你的爱就好像天上的雨点那么多，不同的是，雨会下完，我的爱却是永恒不息的，这一切都不会变，不管怎样。’

女孩听他真情流露，娇羞无限，低着头，含含糊糊地说：

‘这都是你的真心话吗？是不是为了讨我欢心而故意说给我听的？’

男孩摇了摇头，说道：

‘我一直以来都是一个人，但自从认识了你后，我才知道到过去是多么的空虚。以前我都一个人面对事情，如今每一天所发生的事情我都想跟你说’

男孩顿了一下，继续说：

‘我爱你，我甘冒着雨给你送伞，在你生病的时候熬夜地照顾你反让我觉得很甜，很满足。虽然是很累，总觉得为你付出是天大的乐事。还有晚上害怕你睡不着，總是为了不要错过你的sms而失眠’

女孩听了，害羞得不得了，两颊绯红，倍增娇艳，可爱得让人心醉。

雨水倾泻，泛起一阵阵涟漪，俩人任凭雨点飘飘洒洒地打在身上。

女孩回过神来，问道：

‘要是一天我死了，你……会怎么办？’

男孩侧头过来，说道：

‘怎么啦？’

‘就想知道啊……，不想说也没关系。’

男孩沉吟半晌，说：

‘你死了，我绝不会独活。是不能，也是不要。’

庄严认真的样子，带着铁定的语气说道。

忽然间，女孩深深地打了个冷颤，身子不住晃动起来，双颊全无血色。男孩这一惊可非同小可，连忙扶了女孩一把，关怀地问道：

‘你还好吧？’摸了摸女孩的额头。

女孩不答话，只顾着问：

‘你为什么要寻死？！为什么要寻死？！我值得你那么做吗？’声音颤抖得很。

男孩听了，有些不开心。

‘你的反应怎么那么大啊？’右手牵着女孩，继续说：

‘别说了，我们赶紧回家吧，你感冒了。’

女孩像是中了邪一样，茫然地随着男孩，一路跑，眼前的东西，什么都不知道。

眼眶的泪水，掺合了雨水，在脸上划过一道长长的水痕……

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恋爱总是在丰满成熟的时候，就这样无情地消失。

一天，男孩收到了医院的电话，原来女孩患上了癌症，如今已是末期。男孩得讯，霎时间，犹如身受雷轰，整个心灵崩溃下来，他简直不敢相信自己的耳朵。

男孩开伐急奔，跑去医院，脑袋只有躺在病床上的女孩。他半点也不能松懈，脸上的汗珠一滴一滴地落，划过一道一道晶萤的水痕。尽管脚是多么的累，尽管自己是多么的精疲力尽，他没有休息的余地。因为女孩每一分每一秒，都可能离他而去。

男孩终于到了医院。查询病房门号，二话不说，跑到病卧，把门推开。

只见女孩躺在病床上，脸毫无血色，显然已经在垂死的边缘。但女孩仍坚强地在鬼门关口挣扎，为的是要见男孩最后一面。

男孩走到床边，握着女孩的手，深情地看着她。瞧见女孩憔悴无色的脸胧，男孩痛心疾首，情绪澎湃，看着心爱的人即将死去而无法挽回结局，男孩首次体会到自己是多么的无助，无能，恨不得代受其苦，再也忍耐不住，泪水夺眶而出。

女孩轻轻抚摸着男孩的脸，拭去他脸上的泪，微笑地言：

‘别哭啦……难道我的伤心…….就不及你厉害吗……’

‘为什么你没告诉我？’

‘因为我想快乐地……和你度过这三个月……’

‘好。’男孩收起了眼泪，心里暗暗打定了注意，脸上闪出一丝的安祥。

女孩一双明眸凝滞地望着男孩，突然明白了男孩的意思。俩人心灵相通，男孩也知道女孩猜中了他的心思。

‘不行……’ 女孩有气无力地说：’你不能死……’

‘你明知我是不会答应你的。’

女孩深知男孩的性格，明白她死了以后，男孩决计不肯独生，也知道再劝也没用，心里不禁悲哀地叹息。

‘那……你答应我一件事……’仪器显示女孩的脉搏越来越弱。

‘好，好，除了那件事以外，什么我都答应你！’男孩激动地说。

‘我死后……我的灵魂会继续在你心中……活着三年……所以这三年内……你不能死……三年后……你想干什么……也由得你了……’

男孩黯然神伤地说：‘你以为三年后，我的心会被时间冲淡而不再为你殉情（为情自杀〕吗？’

话虽然那么说，但眼见女孩命在须臾（要死了），男孩不忍心拂（拒绝〕她的心意，说道：

‘好，我答应你。’

女孩听了，给了男孩她一生最灿烂的笑容，不再说话，安祥地闭起眼睛。男孩握着她的手，陪着她，一直到她呼出了人生最后一口气。

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日子无声无息地流逝。离开女孩得忌日，也有了一段距离。男孩对女孩的思念却丝毫未减。

学校里的女生，总觉得男孩有个深藏不露的秘密。身上所散发的神秘感，令她们心摇神驰，加上男孩一张俏俊的脸孔，容光俊秀，更是迷倒了她们。

男孩却没有另交新欢的意思。

男孩对女孩的感情极深，那种感情是无法转移到别人身上。

‘别为了一棵树，而放弃整座森林。’朋友劝导他说。

男孩没有回口。男孩不是个多话的人。

‘我想一个人静一下。’也不等朋友回答，自己便独自走到以往下课时和女孩约会的地方，梧桐树下。

男孩静静地伫立在那。

关起眼睛，拼命地幻想着，女孩，其实就在自己身旁。

清风徐来，落叶随风飘逸，树叶相互摆动，奏出了动人的音符。

听见风声，男孩触景生情，唤醒了尘封在在心底，和女孩在梧桐树下所种下的种种美丽的回忆。男孩慢慢睁开眼睛，见到了自己和女孩的身影……

（诶？！这是什么？）

（你最爱吃的油炸圈啊。在你家附近的摊子买的。昨天你说你喜欢吃，我就给你买下来了。你说我乖不乖？）

（可是……我不吃豆沙的……）

（是吗……你都没有跟我讲！真是的……）

（谁说没有！噢……原来你都没有把我的话听进去的……）

（你有讲咩！！好啦……对不起咯……嘻嘻……喂喂！！不要酱啦！！看着我啦！！）

（不--------要。）

（呜呜呼……不要酱啦……喏，你看，今天这道菜是你最爱吃的哦！也是我亲手做的……不要生气嘛……最多待会儿我唱歌给你听……）

想到这里，眼眶含泪欲滴，心田里一阵温馨，脸上出现了微微的笑容。

（森林再多再茂密，也填满不了没有你的的空虚。）心里面说。

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天黑了。

夜，依旧宁静，夜，没有因为男孩的情绪而黯然神伤，一切，都没有改变。

男孩是个守夜者。

夜幕垂帘，男孩总是坐在高处，悠远而不为人知的角落，静静地望着星空。

午夜时分，万籁俱寂，偶尔夹着啾啾的夜鸣声，思路变得很平静，清晰。男孩想，是否女孩，正在世界的另一端，默默地等待着彼此的相遇；想着，在自己心中的她，是否同样地也在望着夜景；想着，是否此刻，也这般地想着他……

男孩透过迷蒙的泪水，望着天上的星星。看着它们，呼唤着女孩的名字。

‘你在天国过得好吗？’

这时，银黑色的星河里，有颗光华耀眼的星星殒落了，去追赶三年前所遗落的流星，并在人间，留下了真挚的爱。

Fuck it's shrinking

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I don't miss gym. I just miss the result. It's sooo heart wrenching to see it fade day by day. Fuck la i better get good grades for this upcoming finals.

Got this from Chern's facebook.

After my exams, give me 2 months. Around August, I will become like that. No supplements no nothing. It will be all Yangsik. Just see.
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Bedtime story

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One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said,

‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, guilt, resentment, lies, false pride and superiority. The other is good. It is peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, 'Which wolf wins?’

The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you choose to feed.’

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There are times where our emotions seem to be getting the best of us. You can choose to be a victim of your own emotions and get carried away, or you can choose to maintain a decidedly mellow demeanor and prevail over them.

The choice is yours.

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Realization w Recuperation

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I’m seriously very susceptible to my emo-ness. Considering the fact that I have only 15days left to study, divide by 5 subjects, I have only 3 days for each subject. I should be terrified right now, but here I am sit brooding for hours on trivial thoughts.

And when I finally managed to bum my ass on a chair, flip open my textbook, it rekindled and started bombarding me with a steady stream of emo thoughts again. My whole body spasm-ed. Eventually I succumbed to it and took a detour to do something else that will keep me distracted.

Yes. It was this bad. Just a few hours ago, it culminated and I decided to call someone for humane treatment. As I was hovering between my contacts, it hit me in the head and I suddenly realized the root of all problems. I gained back a good grip on my senses, and have com to realize the fact that, I was never good on my own.

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That brings me to why I have multiple relationships. And in the end of a relationship, I’d embark on a rebound. I’m the type of person who just has to like someone.

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To me, we human can be categorized into two: one who live for others, and one who live for himself.

Me, someone who live for others, wouldn’t spend more than 100 bucks on myself. But for others, I could be very giving.

The thing is, I wouldn’t work so hard for myself. I’d take things easy. I wouldn’t be as determined in pursuing my goals if there wasn’t anyone special behind me to motivate me. I’m propelled to do things by others. Since young, I used to study a lot and got really good grades. Because as a middle child in the family, I feel compelled to do so to be appreciated by my parents. But when I no longer see the need of it, I goofed off and become stupid. I take up self improve programs in order to be more compatible for my love ones. But when it comes to an end, I’d slack off again.

And now that there’s no particular person that I truly like right now, I feel lost. I feel so miserable. I feel like, there’s no purpose in life anymore. I’ve become very demotivated to do anything.

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What the FUCK have I been doing man!! All this while, I have been completely dependent on someone else to engross in whatever I do, and whatever I have been doing is on the needs of others. How can i be so FUCKING stupid for such a long duration?!

If you have this sort of misconception, be smart and quickly dissipate it, reconsider other purpose in life and don’t let it fret your mind cloud your brow. Listen to what my beloved friends say:

Joanna: study the fuck out of your brain, be very smart so u can say this safely: fuck you bitch! Look what you just missed out on!

Misha: you continue being like this there is every likelihood that you’d end up a loser which will only prove to her that she was right to leave you

Rianne: you don’t need anyone to complete you, to be yang sik

Wendy: suffer now and when the day you become fucking successful, you will no longer need to pick up chicks; they’ll flock to you

They sound like my world is revolving around girls and girls only, which is so wrong. But other than that, whatever they say is true. And thank you, Sarah and Michelle, for listening to my long tedious rants. I feel a lot better now.

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Optimistic vs Pessimistic

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4/5/2009

I feel so dejected again, I don’t know what’s wrong w me. I just can’t bring myself to study at this state.

5/5/2009

I slept at 11.30 last night. Woke up at 2.30. I’m suffering from insomnia again.

It’s very draining on me. I can’t remember the last time I had a good quality sleep. I just need one, long, peaceful sleep to bring me back to health, to normal, not emo. Just one, it’s an awfully modest demand. I even quit drinking coffee because the caffeine contributes 0.00001% to the chance of losing sleep. Izit too much too ask for?

I guess I’m having the lows of my life again. But it’s rather perplexing because I basically become depressed over nothing. Like no apparent reason at all. If that is my karma, he’s doing a fantastic job. All these, depression, anxiety, nervous breakdown just blown in like magic. Out of the blue, I’ve become so let down. Just like that, literally just like that snaps*

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Seemingly, there is a therapy to this, according to my counselor. I should start seeing things in a glass half full manner to be more happy.

Example:

1) Glass half empty: my sister is a retard.

2) Glass half full: hey she’s still growing and just not as well mentally developed as you…

But when you take a closer look, you’ll realize, the first statement is still the reality; succinct, precise and 100% pure authentic truth that she is a R.E.T.A.R.D

And the optimistic way is just a way of thinking to make us feel better, a refuge one seek when one fails to accept the reality. It’s a sign of weakness.

I said this to my counselor and she sighed out a silent grief. (haiiiiiiiih cant he just shut up!?!?!?) Then again, it’s a fact that she still has to deal with, that I’m an incorrigible prick. No matter how she wants to interpret it, glass half full/empty, sadly it won’t make me any less a pain in the ass to counsel. The problem would still be there.

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6am in the morning that day, I drove to ss2 to have dim sum and drink some Chinese tea. China man advocating china man lifestyle baby! All by myself thou. Jason Foo!! Get your ass back in Malaysia asap!! No one else is as stupid/cool as us to do that early in the morning already. Miss you man

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For those who are having exams too, good luck!! I don't need it. heheh. I just need to study. STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY
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