Rants

People asked me why I haven't been blogging. But no one proceeded to ask me further as to why I'm busy.

Well, I've swamped up myself w various chores and work to take things off my mind. I was going through a difficult phase.

I wont say I'm completely adjusted now. I've just gotten better.

If playing the game has its downside, it would have to be this. You will never be truthfully happy. Because at the end of the day, as you leaf through your phone, no matter how many thousands of contacts you have, you'd come to realise there's really no one you can be yourself with and fall back on.

Perhaps it was the reason why I've been holding on to my past relationships. I did not want to lose that part of myself. The part where I can be honest with my vulnerability and insecurities. The part where I can be an ordinary guy who has the same yearning for reassurance like any other guys out there.

As I recall a conversation between a friend of mine and I, he told me, as we grow older, people come in and out of your life so frequently and invariably, that it's become an everyday ritual, one that you'd subtly be aware of its existence. Or otherwise, barely influenced by its change even when it happens.

And if oneday, you happened to walk out of someone's life, no matter how hard you try, it is almost impossible to pick up from where you left off. And I felt sad. How am I to walk right past these people and pretend as if they were never a big part of my life?

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I bought myself a new guitar today. I changed the bed sheets, put up new posters in the room. Everything looks new and refreshing.

Except for certain things, I never want to change them. They resemble some of the old moments. Because it's always nice to be reminded, that I used to mean the world to someone.

pics used are credited to hann